I wrote a long post about it being only the first week of January and already feeling like a failure for various reasons, most of which are beyond my control.
I deleted it.
I've planned. I've organized. I've ticked things off my to-do list and added more. I made progress.
Little tiny steps towards the life I want. It's only been eight days. How much could I possibly think I could achieve?
Apparently more than I'm capable of.
That's not true either. What actually happened was this: I had two weeks off over the holidays. I ran, I cooked, I created, I organized. I was busy. Then the holiday ended and it didn't occur to me that I wouldn't be able to keep up the pace on my personal projects I'd set during my time off. It only took a few days for me to dig myself a pretty deep depression ditch. I spent most of yesterday at work beating myself up for not doing all the things that were on Wednesday's to-do list. Afterwards I dragged my sorry butt home and looked around my place.
What did I see? All the things I've accomplished in the short time since I started my journal and wrote down what I wanted to do. The hat I knitted on Sunday. The freezer full of a month's worth of healthy lunches for work. The neatly checked off squares on my new running calendar. The books I got with the library card I finally got around to acquiring. The registration confirmations for the classes I signed up for this semester. The sketches for the modifications I'm doing on my truck.
That's a lot of win! How could I not see the upswing happening?
Easy. That's not what I was looking at. I was so busy cataloging the things I didn't do (and a few I didn't even want to think about) that I didn't leave a second to enjoy the successes I've had. By engaging in forward-thinking tunnel vision I could only see the boxes I didn't get to tick off my list. This is a regular occurrence for me. I make myself miserable trying to do everything all at once.
What am I going to do about it?
Ironically, I'm adding another item to my daily to-do list. What's it going to say?
Take a daily inventory of everything you've accomplished!
If you're anything like me, you might want to make a daily appointment with yourself to really begin understanding just exactly how many cool things you do. You'll be surprised at how successful you are.
*image "borrowed" from alalaloa on deviantart
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